Jennie

Craig Chadwick

Finding Out About Me

Finding out about me.
There were those moments
Filled with pain
despair
bewilderment

Why me?
Why can't I just be
N O R M A L?
Why can't I be like
everyone else?

Finding out about me
Why am I a freak?
Why God, Why?

All the while my insides
were eaten up with pain.
With grief.
Unable to express this.
I curled up on the couch
in a ball.
Wishing for some way
to let the pain out.

Finding out about me.
It wasn't all good.

Sister Jennie (Inspired by “Finding Out About Me”)

Jenny I know
what you mean
and your pain
as my own
and the sad
irony I feel
is that though
you were all alone
in those shattering
painful moments
and lonely
you were not alone
but couldn't know that
any more than I
or so many others
of our kind
a different spectrum
of normal.

Tears yes
desperation you bet
agony and despair
it didn't seem fair
it wasn't right
it didn’t seem real
so many times
it couldn't be
but it was
and it went on
and on and on
and now theres
a little illumination
a little relief and hope
a little light
We're ok
just a different kind
of normal

Life ahead
we're not done
still breathing
in and out
we've come to know
we're not alone
although still lonely
so often
still uncomfortable
regularly now
but but and but
we know for sure
we are okay
in our own way
children of god
as we understand her
another divine variety
of normal.

Copyright @ 9/28/2003