AS and Child Custody - a perspective from
adult children of AS parents.
By Judy Singer
Review of High Conflict &
Asperger’s Syndrome by Sheila Jennings Linehan
[Judy Singer is a Sociologist with a Disability Studies background. Her
Honours thesis "Odd People In" was an exploration of AS as a social
phenomenon, covering topics such as Autistic self-advocacy, Autistic
community in cyberspace, and autism and Disability Rights.
She has written extensively both in a sociological vein about the new social
movement of autistics, and in a personal vein on her experiences as the
daughter of a woman with AS, and as the mother of a child with AS. Judy has
some AS traits herself which makes her sensitive to the discrimination
suffered by people on the Autistic Spectrum.
In the past she has been known as a promoter of AS self-advocacy, and of the
view that AS is not so much a disability as a neurological minority i.e. a
difference, not a disability. However, she has concluded that in some
situations, notably in parenting, some AS characteristics definitely
constitute a significant impairment and not just a difference.]
Sheila Jennings LInehan's articles on AS and
Family Law are pioneering pieces in what is destined to become a major and
contentious area of divorce and custody litigation.
We are entering an era where neuroscience is
edging out psychodynamics in every field. The nature-nurture pendulum has
swung back towards a more genetic view of human behaviour.
Yet existing family law is still very much rooted in a psychodynamic
tradition.
No group has done more to disprove the claims
of the psychodynamic tradition than the new and rising category of what I
would call "disabilities of sociality" of which the Autistic Spectrum
Disorders are a prime example.
Since AS advocates have shown that all the
professions, psychiatry, therapy, medicine, have got it wrong about AS, then
it follows that they must allow that the law will begin to take neurological
disorders into consideration as well.
AS is a hazy diagnosis, postmodern in its lack
of clear-cut definition - a spectrum, a cluster, a syndrome of "pillars and
fragments", all or any of which may cause people to identify under the
broader umbrella.
Without wanting to go point by point thru the
various clinical definitions of AS, I would argue, for the purposes of this
article, that AS diagnostic criteria fall into 3 groups of traits. Those
with:
1. Potential social benefit
eg. the ability to focus and specialise, creativity, "genius", resistance to
group pressure in the pursuit of truth. etc
2. Socially neutral
eg. awkwardness, clumsiness, mild absent-mindedness, mild disorganisation
lack of interest in chit-chat, aversion of gaze etc.
These traits often attract discrimination and oppressive behaviour from the
neurotypical majority. even though they are absolutely harmless.
3. Potential social detriment
eg. lack of empathy, short temper, intrusiveness, obsessiveness, lack of
layered consciousness, inability to bear mild criticism, inability to
self-reflect, lack of reciprocity, severe absent-mindedness, unreliability,
etc.
These traits can damage the social fabric that
we all rely on, and especially within the confines of the fragile nuclear
family.
This last cluster of behaviours is clearly
central to parenting capacity and must not be swept under the carpet.
It is not only a legitimate area for legal enquiry where children's
welfare is at stake, but an absolutely necessary one.
AS activists often come from point 1 and 2 above, and seek to minimise 3.
While this is understandable from a group of people who have been much
misunderstood and mistreated, AS advocates can't have it both ways - if they
seek to claim to be understood via 1 and 2, they have to be open to scrutiny
on 3 as well.
It will not do to try and deflect this scrutiny by attempting to argue that
such scrutiny is automatically discrimination against people with AS, or to
go even further, as some AS activists has done, and claim that it is
discrimination against all parents with a disability.
The parenting rights of disabled people were fought for on the basis of
physical disability, and to some extent intellectual disability.
Social disability is something quite different, and parenting rights and
responsibilities must be worked out on a fresh basis.
The right of parents with physical disabilities to parent is without
question given the right physical supports
The right of parents with intellectual disabilities is far more
controversial, and, I would argue, may well turn on the intuitive and
reciprocal capacities of the individual concerned.
Finally few would argue that rights of parents with psychosis or delusional
disorders should not be curtailed while they are in the delusional state.
And now, the right of parents with social disabilities needs to be fully
aired and debated - this debate we are now in is in its infancy, and ASpires
is to be commended for encouraging it.
Currently, I am a member of 3 stakeholder groups,
ASPIRES - an online resource for spouses and family members of adult
autistics.. The active members appear to be predominantly AS. This group
takes an optimistic, problem-solving approach to the problems of
neurologically mixed partnerships.
ASpar
http://www.aspar.klattu.com.au/-
a group for children of people with AS founded by myself. The active members
are predominantly NT identified though many appear to have AS traits.. Over
time ASpar has had about 100 members all of whom document parental
mistreatment in ways that are tellingly specific to the profile of AS.
These forms of mistreatment have never been documented elsewhere, so ardent
AS rights activists will find them hard to dismiss under the rubric that
some AS activists complaint that " there are plenty of poor parents around
not on the spectrum, and yet this is not questioned nearly so much".
At ASpar, we do not talk about our parents in terms of ordinary poor
parenting. On the contrary, we have pioneered the naming of new forms of
what some would call "child abuse" that are clearly part of the neurological
profile of AS.
For example: we claim that constant monotonous perseveration on a single
topic by a parent to a captive audience of their children is a form of slow
torment that has not yet been documented in any literature on "poor
parenting " or child abuse.
FAAAS - http://www.faaas.org/ - a
group primarily of NT female partners of autistic men, with a clear
perspective that AS is a neurological disorder that puts disproportionate
stress and responsibility on the NT partner. In other words, the NT-AS
marriages described are actually "carer and dependent" relationships with
all the attendant carer stress, but none of it recognised or rewarded or
compensated by society. This is sometimes referred to as Cassandra Syndrome.
All these groups are self-selected in their membership. And all to some
extent, including mine, are homeostatic and resistant to challenge . By this
I mean that while in theory the list policy may be open and encouraging, the
prevailing climate of majority opinion may make it difficult to speak up and
challenge the status quo of the group.
This relative blinkering is legitimate because different voices need to have
a safe space in which to tell their stories and vent on them as fully as
possible without fear of censorship or deflection to the requirements of
political correctness.
However no such group, alone, can make an all encompassing claim to the
"truth" about AS.
Sheila Jennings Linehan is to be congratulated for being one of the first to
embark on and lay out a case that is bound to be fraught with political
tensions, and which has in some cases opened her to personal attacks and
unfair imputations of her motives.
There is no denying that AS, having now been put on the family law radar,
will now be open to civil liberties violations by malicious litigants.
But the fact that new discoveries and broader paradigms can be misused has
never been a reason for suppressing them.
Throughout the western world, there is a perception that our child welfare
and protection systems are not working well.
This is largely because the psychodynamic paradigm on which it rests is now
insufficiently explanatory as a basis for action.
To remedy this situation, firstly, our child welfare systems need to
accommodate the new findings of neuroscience.
But secondly, and importantly, the scientific view must be balanced with the
input of all the relevant stakeholder groups.
And I would submit, that no group knows more about AS and parenting than
children who grew up in a family where one or both parents were on the
Autistic Spectrum.
Disclaimer: Judy Singer makes no claims about AS as a blanket definition, or
about people who have been diagnosed or self diagnosed as AS. Her claims
relate to specific traits associated with AS - each of which needs to be
considered on a case by case basis.
© Judy Singer January 2004. All rights reserved.
Judy Singer is the
founder and owner of
ASpar - an
organization dedicated to children and adults raised by parents with
Asperger Syndrome
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